What's happening: As 2025 comes to a close, I've been reflecting on a year that tested my resilience in ways I never expected—and how often I caught myself comparing my messy, obstacle-filled path to everyone else's highlight reels.
What you'll find here: A framework for noticing (and releasing) comparison, plus permission to honor your own timeline without apology.
The real talk: Your journey doesn't need to look like anyone else's to be valid, meaningful, or exactly what you need right now.
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Hey {{first_name}},
I've been thinking a lot about timelines lately. Specifically, mine—and how much energy I've spent this year wishing it looked different.
My word for 2025 was "resilience," and honestly? The universe took that as a personal challenge. Time and time again, my resilience was tested. Every time I thought I was settling into some kind of rhythm, another obstacle appeared on the path. Another diagnosis. Another setback. Another moment where I had to pause everything and just... deal.
And in those pauses—the ones I didn't choose, the ones that felt like being held back—I found myself comparing. A lot.
I'd see people traveling to beautiful places while I was at yet another doctor's appointment. I'd watch friends experience moments of pure joy while I was at home, sick from medication, trying to manage side effects. I'd scroll through social media and feel this strange mix of happiness for them and resentment for my own situation.
I just wanted to be okay. That's all. Just... okay.
Here's what comparison felt like for me this year: like running a race where everyone else was on a clear, smooth path, and I kept hitting obstacle after obstacle. Not just small hurdles—full-on walls that required me to stop, assess, figure out how to climb over or go around, and then try to catch my breath before the next one appeared.
My health issues and layoff made me feel emotionally and physically held back. Like there wasn't room for anything else but to slow down and process. And when you're forced to slow down, it's so easy to look around and feel like everyone else is sprinting past you.
The holidays have made this feeling even more intense. As I see others getting into the festive spirit—posting photos in holiday dresses, sharing their baking adventures, decorating their homes—I'm here in my PJs, managing pain, and figuring out how to navigate stairs with crutches.
My holidays look different this year. Really different. And that comparison? It stings.
But as this year comes to a close, I keep coming back to something important: I can't be "slowed down" if this is my own unique journey. This just IS. And I need to give myself grace to honor that.
🌻 A Framework for Releasing Comparison
When I catch myself comparing (and trust me, I still do), here's what helps me move through it:
1. Notice when comparison is happening
The first step is just awareness. I pay attention to that familiar feeling—the tightness in my chest, the spiral of "why not me?" thoughts, the sudden urge to close the app or look away. Just naming it—"I'm comparing myself right now"—takes away some of its power.
2. Get curious about it
Instead of judging myself for comparing (which just adds another layer of feeling bad), I ask: Why am I comparing myself to this person or this experience? What about it is calling my attention?
Sometimes it's a genuine desire for something. Other times it's just a reminder of what I'm missing in this moment. Both are valid, but they require different responses.
3. Name what you're actually longing for
Once I identify what's pulling at me, I try to name the deeper need. Am I craving adventure? Connection? Physical freedom? A sense of normalcy? Getting specific helps me understand what's really going on beneath the comparison.
4. Assess if it's something you truly want
Here's the important part: just because something looks good doesn't mean it's right for YOUR path. Sometimes we compare ourselves to things we don't actually want—we just think we should want them.
Ask yourself: Is this genuinely something I want in my life, or am I just feeling the pressure of "should"?
5. Consider what's within your control
If it IS something you truly want, what's within your power to either move toward that experience or create your own version of it? Sometimes the answer is "not much right now," and that's okay. But sometimes there are small actions you can take that honor the longing without requiring you to be on someone else's timeline.
And if it's not within your control right now? That's when I practice releasing it and trusting that my path is unfolding exactly as it needs to.
I think this is especially important during the holidays and as we head into a new year. This is peak comparison season—when we reflect on what we accomplished (or didn't), when we make resolutions and plans, when everyone's sharing their "year in review" highlight reels.
It's so easy to feel like we didn't do enough. Like we're behind. Like everyone else has it figured out.
But here's what I'm learning: your timeline is yours alone. The obstacles you faced? They're part of YOUR story, not evidence that you're falling behind. The way your year looked different than you planned? That's not failure—you navigated everything life brought your way.
Every time I pushed through a health crisis this year, that was resilience. Every doctor's appointment I showed up to, every medication adjustment I navigated, every moment I chose rest over pushing through—those were wins. They might not look like the wins I see on social media, but they're mine. And they matter.
As we head into the final days of 2025, I want you to do something for yourself:
Take a few minutes to think about your own timeline this year. Not the one you planned or the one you see others living—YOUR actual path, with all its unexpected turns and obstacles.
What are three things you navigated this year that required resilience? They don't have to be big, dramatic moments. Maybe you set a boundary that felt scary. Maybe you asked for help when you needed it. Maybe you just kept showing up, day after day, even when it was hard.
Write them down somewhere. Celebrate them. Let them be enough.
And if you're feeling brave, hit reply and share one of those wins with me. I'd love to celebrate your journey with you—messy timeline and all.
Remember: You are exactly where you need to be right now. Your path is unfolding at the pace it needs to. And you, my friend, are doing better than you think.
¿Qué dijo? / What did she say?
no Spanish today (: