🎮 Reminder: you're holding the controller

What's in this issue:

• How to shift from victim mode to choice mode (even when everything feels chaotic)

• My therapy breakthrough about agency and why I chose to go back to Google

• The power of writing it all down when overwhelm hits

The real talk: You can't control what happens to you, but you can always control how you respond—and sometimes that's enough.

Hey ,

Have you ever had one of those stretches where it feels like life is just... happening TO you? Like you're caught in some cosmic pinball machine, bouncing from one situation to the next with zero say in where you land?

Yeah, that's been me lately. Between everything happening in the world, major life transitions, and the general unpredictability of, well, everything—I've been feeling more like a passenger than the driver of my own life.

But a recent therapy session reminded me of something I'd forgotten: even when everything feels out of control, I still have choices. And honestly? That realization felt like coming up for air.

Reclaiming Your Agency When Life Feels Chaotic

When everything around you feels overwhelming and out of control, it's easy to slip into passenger mode. Here's how to gently shift back into remembering your power:

• Write it all down: Get every overwhelming thing out of your head and onto paper. Brain dump everything that feels heavy or stressful. Then go back and highlight what you actually have some influence over—even if it's just your morning routine or how you respond to a text message.

• Focus on your response, not the circumstance: You can't control layoffs, family drama, or global events, pero you can always choose your next move. Maybe that's setting a boundary, asking for help, or simply choosing to be gentle with yourself today.

• Zoom in on the present moment: When the future feels uncertain, bring your attention back to right now. What choice can you make in the next hour that feels aligned with who you want to be? Sometimes that's as simple as making your bed or calling a friend.

• Validate the overwhelm first: Don't skip straight to "but I have choices!" Acknowledge that yes, a lot IS happening, and yes, much of it IS outside your direct control. Your feelings about the chaos are completely valid.

• Look for micro-moments of agency: Sometimes reclaiming your power looks like choosing to take a different route home, saying no to plans that drain you, or deciding to order takeout instead of cooking. Small choices add up.

Recuerda: Agency isn't about controlling everything—it's about remembering you always have options, even when they're not the ones you'd prefer.

In my last therapy session, my therapist reminded me of something that felt both obvious and revolutionary: I chose where I work. I chose what I do each day. I chose how I react to things.

It sounds so simple when I write it out like that, verdad? But honestly, I'd been feeling so swept up in circumstances—the layoff, the health stuff, everything happening in the world—that I'd forgotten I was still making choices every single day.

The specific example we talked about was my decision to go back to Google after my layoff. I could have gone elsewhere, started fresh at a new company, maybe even taken a break from tech entirely. But I chose to return because it's what I wanted and needed for my health in this moment. That wasn't life happening TO me—that was me actively choosing what served me best.

This realization felt refreshing in a way I didn't expect. Like, suddenly I wasn't just floating through my days waiting to see what would happen next. I was back in the driver's seat, even if I couldn't control the traffic or the weather.

One of the biggest shifts for me has been learning to focus on the present instead of constantly planning ahead (hello, fellow overachievers, I see you). Normally, I'm three steps ahead, mapping out scenarios and trying to control outcomes. But right now? I'm practicing just looking at what's right in front of me. And it won't be forever, pero it's exactly what I need in this moment.

Just the other day, I had this perfect example of what reclaiming agency looks like in real life. I was feeling overwhelmed by everything on my plate, and instead of pushing through or collapsing into "woe is me" mode, I paused and asked myself: "What do I actually want right now?"

The answer? I wanted to dance. There was nothing special happening, no plans, no reason—I just wanted to wiggle my body and feel some joy. So you know what I did? I went out dancing. Solo. On a random weeknight.

It felt so good to embrace that moment of spontaneity, to choose joy even when (especially when) everything else felt heavy. That choice—small as it might seem—reminded me that I'm not just reacting to life. I'm actively participating in it.

When I feel like life is happening TO me these days, I've started this practice of writing everything down. All the chaos, all the overwhelm, all the things that feel impossible—I dump it onto paper and then I go back through and circle what I actually have control over.

Sometimes the list of "what I can control" is shorter than I'd like. But it's never empty. And focusing on that—on my sphere of influence rather than everything outside it—helps me remember that I'm not powerless, even when I'm not in complete control.

I'm still figuring this out, by the way. There are definitely days when I slip back into feeling like everything is happening TO me. But now I have this gentle reminder from therapy: even in chaos, you still have choices. And sometimes, remembering that is enough to help you breathe again.

_{¿Qué dijo? / What did she say?}
pero - but
verdad - right
Recuerda - remember