💫 Stop networking, start friend-working

What's in this issue:

• How to build genuine professional relationships that don't feel transactional 

• Green and red flags to watch for when networking 

• Why investing in others first creates the strongest foundation for your own success

The real talk: The best networking happens when you stop thinking about what you can get and start focusing on who you can genuinely connect with.

Hey ,

Have you ever left a networking event feeling discouraged and empty? Like you'd just spent two hours collecting business cards from people who saw you as a potential transaction rather than a professional to genuinely connect with?

Yeah, me too. That icky feeling is why I almost gave up on "networking" entirely—until I realized I'd been thinking about it all wrong.

Building Relationships That Actually Matter

Traditional networking advice tells you to "work the room" and "collect contacts." But authentic relationship-building is completely different. Here are some ways I’ve approached networking instead:

• See the person, not the title: Instead of fixating on someone's job level or company, pay attention to their values, leadership style, and the insights they offer. Some of my most valuable connections have been with people who were technically "junior" to me but had perspectives that changed how I think about work and life.

• Lead with curiosity, not your agenda: Ask genuine questions about their experiences, challenges, and what they're excited about. When you're truly interested in someone as a person, the conversation flows naturally—and they can feel the difference.

• Follow the "quarterly touch" rule: Set a reminder to check in with meaningful connections every three months. Not with an ask, just a genuine "how are things going?" or sharing something that reminded you of them. Consistency beats intensity every time.

• Remember the details that matter: Note important dates (work anniversaries, birthdays), follow up on challenges they mentioned, and celebrate their wins. This isn't about being creepy—it's about being present in the relationship.

• Be a connector, not just a collector: Introduce people in your network who could benefit from knowing each other. When you become known as someone who helps others connect, people naturally want to stay connected with you.

Recuerda: The strongest professional relationships are built on mutual respect and genuine interest in each other's success—not what you can extract from each other.

A few weeks ago, during a particularly challenging period in my career, I experienced something that reminded me why authentic relationship-building matters so much.

I found myself needing to reach out to my professional network for support, and honestly, I was nervous. Would people respond? Had I built real relationships, or just professional acquaintanceships? 😬

What happened next blew me away. Every single person I reached out to responded with genuine care and concrete support. Some offered practical advice, and many just checked in regularly to see how I was doing. The response wasn't just professional courtesy—it was real friendship showing up in a work context.

But here's what struck me most: these relationships had evolved from professional connections into genuine friendships. While that's not always the goal (and doesn't need to be), it created this beautiful blend of personal and professional support during a uniquely challenging time.

These relationships didn't happen overnight or through calculated networking moves. They'd been built over years of showing up for each other as whole humans, not just colleagues.

Like when a teammate experienced a sudden family loss, and I had their favorite donuts delivered to their house. Or the time a friend was going through a particularly rough patch, so I started having lunch delivered regularly—not just once, but consistently—to make sure they were nourished during a period when taking care of themselves felt impossible. Or all those small birthday gifts and milestone celebrations I've sent to coworkers who became close friends, just because I wanted them to feel seen and valued.

I realized that what people responded to wasn't my professional credentials or what I could offer them—it was the trust and genuine care we'd built together. Porque when you invest in people as whole humans, not just professional contacts, they show up as whole humans too!

The brightness in all of this was realizing that I'm actually good at building relationships. Not because I'm strategic or calculated, pero because I genuinely care about people and their journeys. That authentic interest has created a network that feels more like a chosen professional community than a list of contacts.

One friend told me afterward, "Of course I wanted to help—you've always been someone who celebrates others and shows up when things get tough." That's when it hit me: the "networking" I'd been doing wasn't networking at all. It was just... friendship. Professional relationships that had naturally deepened into genuine care and connection.

And maybe that's the secret—stop trying to network and start trying to build real relationships with people whose work and values you admire. The professional benefits follow naturally cuando the foundation is authentic.

_{¿Qué dijo? / What did she say?}
Recuerda - remember 
Porque - because 
pero - but 
cuando - when