🎃Tackling my fears (and the fear of being afraid)

What's happening: I've been carrying a LOT of fear this year—about my job, my health, my safety—and it all came to a head when I realized I wasn't just afraid of bad things happening. I was afraid of being afraid.

What you'll find here: A framework I use when fear shows up (because it always does), plus some real talk about why sitting with scary feelings is just as important as "pushing through."

The real talk: Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn't conquering your fear—it's learning how to sit with it without letting it swallow you whole.

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Hey {{first_name}},

Happy November! I joke at work that November and December are really just 3 weeks of "real time" because the out-of-offices are constant, everyone is tired, and we're all just ready to say, "make it a 2026 issue, ya?"

But here's the thing—I'm still kind of hung up on Halloween. With all the chaos of existing as I do and living where I do (hint: 🧊), the holiday sort of snuck up on me. And with that, I lost sight of something I really wanted to talk about.

Or at least share. Because let's be honest, who actually likes to talk about fears?

As my previous newsletters have highlighted, your girl over here tiene mucho miedo! Fear of losing my job. Fear about my health because like, seriously, what is my body doing?! Fear of a loved one not making it home. Fear of the market collapsing because si no tengo trabajo at least I have stocks, right?! Fear of… okay, okay, I think you get it. 😅

When I was let go earlier this year, I initially handled it well. No tears during the formal call, some tears with friends that day, and then I was like, "Damn, that sucks!"

About a day or two later? The fear hit me so fucking hard. That kind where you can't breathe and you're reaching out for air because omg what was I going to do?!? For an hour I really thought I was falling into a dark hole filled with spiders, absolutely consumed with fear.

Why do I tell you this?

Because when the media told me last week that Amazon was doing layoffs, I started bawling. It took me back to that fear that hit me when I was let go, and I was like, nope, please, I don't want to experience that again.

As my roommate (aka the bf) so eloquently put it: I was afraid of being afraid.

We were just sitting in our living room, scrolling on our phones like any other evening, when I saw the headline. My chest tightened. I showed him, and before I could even articulate what I was feeling, he said it. And honestly? It stopped me in my tracks.

He was right. I wasn't just scared of losing my job—I was terrified of feeling that feeling again. The panic. The spiraling. The "how will I survive this" overwhelm that made me feel so small.

And given that I now have soooo much experience with this quite awful feeling (unfortunately), I thought I could share with you how I've been tackling it.

1. Name it / acknowledge it

Sometimes this can be the hardest part because you don't want to admit it, or if you're like me, saying it or writing it down makes it too real.

But what I've learned is that I need to be so incredibly clear on what exactly I'm tackling. Like when I think I'm afraid of losing my house and realize actually I'm afraid of what people will say—so really, I have to work on letting go of what others think, not go ham on a finance plan that doesn't actually make me feel better.

2. Figure out the why

Often, I’ll take out a notebook and write: "I am afraid of XYZ because of ABC."

Yes, you gotta know what you're up against, but you also need to know why it scares you. Sometimes there's more than one why, and that's okay. For example:

And so many other things! Writing each one down helps me be honest with myself.

3. Plan for it

I had a really smart coworker who once told me: "Trust future you to handle future problems."

And because I'm a planner, I feel like future me would appreciate a plan—or at least a place to start. So knowing the what and the why helps me name a "plan of attack."

Sticking to the job thing: if the finance piece is pressing, then let me think about what I can do now to feel better about that possibility—saving, having a budget, etc. If the health piece is keeping me up, well then let me plan time with my doctors to discuss options, figure out COBRA, etc.

My framing above reminds me that I won't just "get over it." And chances are it'll still be hard and scary. But at least I can remind myself that I'm capable. That I know where to start if something happens. That I've done the work to understand me and to give myself the space to tackle the issue in my own way.

It helps me feel a little in control. And truthfully? It gives me hope ✨

Think about a fear that's been sitting heavy with you lately. Not the big, abstract ones—but the specific, this-keeps-me-up-at-night ones.

Try this: Write down one fear and then ask yourself the three questions:

If you're comfortable sharing, reply and tell me what came up for you. I'd love to hear what you're working through.

_{¿Qué dijo? / What did she say?}
No se como - I don't know how
Tiene mucho miedo - Has a lot of fear
Si no tengo trabajo - If I don't have a job
Pero - But
Verdad - Right/true