Honesty that sparks connection.
What's in this issue:
The one question that reveals what you've been quietly suppressing
Why first-gen women are especially prone to redirected dreams
A 4-step framework to reconnect with the version of you who knew exactly what she wanted
The real talk: You didn't lose your dreams. They just got redirected by people who meant well but didn't know better.
Quick question: If you could do anything — anything at all — what would it be?
Don't overthink it. Don't edit it. What's the FIRST thing that came to mind?
If your brain immediately tried to redirect you toward something "practical" or "realistic" — that's exactly what we're talking about today.
I've been sitting with a version of this question ever since a coach asked it to me a while back. My answer? Baking. No hesitation. And then I spent the next ten minutes explaining why that wasn't a real answer.
But it was. It absolutely was. We've just been taught to talk ourselves out of the real ones.
Today I'm sharing the framework that helps me stop doing that — and I think it might help you too.
The Pastry Chef Question:
A Framework for Reclaiming Redirected Dreams
Step 1: Ask the question and catch your first answer.
"If I could do anything, what would it be?"
Write down whatever comes up first — before your inner critic starts editing. The first answer is almost always the truest one. Don't let yourself cross it out.
Step 2: Trace the redirect.
When did that dream get quieter? Was there a moment someone told you it wasn't a "real" career, wasn't practical, wasn't going to pay the bills? Was it said out loud — or just implied through the options you were (and weren't) given? You don't have to blame anyone. Just notice where the redirect happened.
Step 3: Let the dream tell you something about yourself.
This isn't about quitting your job and going to culinary school (or whatever your version is). It's about what that dream reveals. The things we're drawn to tell us about our values, our joy, our gifts. What does your first answer tell you about who you really are underneath all the expectations?
Step 4: Find the thread in your current life.
After sitting with your dream, look for where that version of you is already trying to show up. Maybe it's not a full career pivot. Maybe it's a Saturday morning in the kitchen, a creative project you've been putting off until "things slow down," a corner of your life you've been keeping too tidy for your own good. Where can you give that part of yourself a little more room — just because?